Why This Life?
by savingpoppunk
Summary: Tris is that kind of girl in school that only has a few friends, bullied, hated. She goes to bands to run away from all that is happening in her life. She's in love with Four, the schools most wanted guy. All credit goes to Veronica Roth and all bands who's songs are used in this story :) (told in Tris's P.O.V.)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello :D thank you for clicking on this story! I really do not have much to say but credits go to Veronica Roth for Divergent and the 1st song is Bulls In The Bronx by Pierce The Veil and the second song is Hurricane by Panic! At The Disco so credit to them 3 enjoy the story :)**

My shoulder hits the locker, my bag falls to the ground. I squealed a little in pain as I slide down the locker.

"Fucking piece of shit! You're WORTHLESS!" Peter yells at me before turning and walking in the other direction down hall, Drew and Molly following close behind him both pairs of arms crossed over their chests.

I sit up slowly and see everyone's head turned towards me. I pick up my bag and stand looking around me, I start to walk in the same direction that Peter and his crew went, pulling out my Iphone as I walked looking at all the eyes turned towards me. I put my earbuds in and flip through the hundreds of songs to find the one I was looking for, I put the song on repeat and turn the music up all the way.

**_Do you know I count your heartbeats before you sleep (you sleep)? I bite my fingernails to bone (to bone) a_**_**nd then crawl back under the stairwell to a place I call my home.**_

**_I really hope you enjoy the show, b_**_**ecause for me, it's just a bad day. You need people like me to feel.**_

_**Maybe we're just having too much fun. Maybe we can't handle yourself, s**_**_taring at me with your lips and tongue._**

**_You'll never know I don't know where i'm going to sleep tonight. She said, "Hotels are cheap, And there's one down the street." But, don't you threaten me with a good time. Murder the moment. My god, i'm the serpent. I'm sorry that I can't see that you truly love me._**

_**Maybe we're just having too much fun. Maybe we can't handle yourself, s**_**_taring at me with your lips and tongue._**

_**I've been having this dream that we could fly, so maybe if we never wake up we could see the sky.**_

_**Oh, alright.**_

_**Please don't take this out on me, 'cause you're the only thing that's keeping me alive. And I don't wanna wait for the down-set date. 'Cause I would rather end it all tonight. And if I mean anything to you, I'm sorry but i've made up my mind.**_

_**Maybe we're just having too much fun. Maybe we can't handle yourself, s**_**_taring at me with your lips and tongue._**

_**I've been having this dream that we could fly, so maybe if we never wake up we could see the sky, so darling close your eyes. 'Cause you're about to miss everything (about to miss everything) About to miss everything (about to miss everything)**_

I look around as I walk through the hall there aren't as many eyes still on me but I notice one person looking directly at me _Four_, standing with Zeke by their lockers.Wow he actually noticed me. I stare back at him _stop Tris don't let those beautiful blue eyes get to you _I keep eye contact with him until Christina puts her arm around me.

"Hey Trissy!" She yells pulling out my left earbud. The music still playing loud.

"When will you stop calling me that?" I ask taking my eyes off Four and looking over at my best friend.

"Never, silly!" she says giggling "when will you get over Four?"

My eyes go wide and I look over my shoulder. Hopefully he didn't hear. I let out a breath. "I don't know" I mumble.

She takes her arm off me as we reach the front doors of the school. We each push open one of the double doors to the cool winter air.

"Hey! Tris, Chris!" Uriah says waving an arm, he was standing near the car lot. Chris and I walk towards Uriah.

"Hey Uriah" Christina says smiling. "Hey" I say not looking up from Iphone trying to text my brother, Caleb. _'I'm not going to ride the bus. I'm going to walk home. I need time alone.' _After I sent the text I looked up and saw Chris and Uriah staring at me.

"You okay?" Uriah asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine" I replied looking down at my phone "I'm going to walk home. I better get started."

"Want me to drive you?" Christina asked.

I shook my head and proceeded to walk out into the parking lot putting the earbuds that Christina pulled out back in my ear. My phone vibrated and I looked to see a text from Caleb. _'Okay. Stay safe. Don't get raped ;)'_ I replied _'Thanks -_- love ya too' _and went to change the song after my day I need a song a little less depressing.

_**Are you worth the weight in gold? **_**_Cause you're behind my eyelids when i'm all alone hey, stranger, I want you to catch me like a cold. You and god both got the guns, when you shoot me I think i'd duck._**

**_I led the revolution in my bedroom and I set all the zippers free. We said, "No more war, No more clothes! Give me peace. Oh kiss me!"_**

**_Hey! Hey! We are a Hurricane! Drop our anchors in a storm. Hey! They will never be the same, a fire in a flask to keep us warm. Cause, they know I know That they don't look like me. Oh, they know, I know That they don't sound like me._**

**_You'll dance to anything! You'll dance to anything!_**

**_Oh i'd confess, i'd confess, in a room where i'm blessed. But he didn't come and speak to me, or put my heart at ease. And I believe that half the time I am a wolf among the sheep gnawing at the wool over my eyes._**

**_I led the revolution in my bedroom and I set all the zippers free. We said, "No more war, No more clothes! Give me peace. Oh kiss me!"_**

**_Hey! Hey! We are a Hurricane! Drop our anchors in a storm. Hey! They will never be the same, a fire in a flask to keep us warm. Cause, they know I know That they don't look like me. Oh, they know, I know That they don't sound like me._**

**_You'll dance to anything! You'll dance to anything! You'll dance to anything! You'll dance to anything!_**

**_Fix me, or conflict me. I'll take anything. Fix me, or just conflict me. Cause i'll take anything._**

**_I led the revolution in my bedroom and I set all the zippers free. We said, "No more war, No more clothes! Give me peace. Oh kiss me!"_**

**_Hey! Hey! We are a Hurricane! Drop our anchors in a storm. Hey! They will never be the same, A fire in a flask to keep us warm. Cause, they know I know That they don't look like me. Oh, they know, I know That they don't sound like me._**

**_You'll dance to anything! You'll dance to anything!_**

Before I knew it I was standing in front of my house, A regular white 2-story house with a red door and green shutters. I let out a sigh and walked up the front stairs. I put my hand on the silver doorknob and looked down at my hand. _How is this home? _I twisted the knob and walked inside the house quietly pulling out one earbud.

"Caleb?" I yelled. He probably took the long way home. The home where our dad didn't care. He hated us. Ever since Mom died he didn't care about anyone or anything, he was a drunk.

"Beatrice?" Dad said from the living room.

"U-um yeah dad?" I asked closing the door and setting my bag down gently beside me.

"Where were you? And where is your brother?" He asked walking through the hallway that led from the front door to the living room.

"I walked home. And I don't know where Caleb is." I said looking at the stairs wanting to make a run for it.

"Whatever" He said taking a sip of his water. _Wow, trying something different?_ He turned and walked back towards the living room. I shrugged, grabbed my bag and ran up the stairs to my room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay next chapter ^_^ I'm going to try and update once maybe twice a day it depends on how bored I get XD ~savingpoppunk**

I stared at myself in the eyes int the bathroom mirror. I then looked down at the bloody razor blade in my right hand. Tears started running down my cheeks. I turned around to face the shower behind me and slid down the sink. "I failed you mom, i'm sorry" I said between sobs. I looked at my bloody wrist, I did it again. I can't go a fucking week without doing this to myself.

"Tris?" I heard Caleb say outside the door.

"Y-yeah?" I replied.

"Can I come in?" He asked quietly.

"Sure." I said standing, putting the blade on the counter and walking over to the door, my wrist leaving a small trail of blood behind me. I unlocked the door and the first thing Caleb pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back and sobbed harder into his shoulder.

"You didn't fail mom" He hair into my hair.

"I did Caleb I really did. I can't be the perfect daughter she's always wanted" I said between sobs "Peter's right i'm shit" I let go of my brother and sat on the counter pulling my knees up to my chest and crying into them.

"Don't you listen to Peter! Promise me if he says another word to you, you will stop cutting and you will come and get me or you will stay by my side at all times during the day!" He yelled.

"I promise" I said quietly.

"Thank you. Now let's clean up this blood." Caleb said as he pulled out a bandage from under the sink. He wrapped the bandage around my wrist and cleaned up the blood while I promised him I would flush the blade.

"How does it feel?" He asked wrapping an arm around my shoulder. We stood in front of the toilet in silence after the blade was gone.

"I feel better actually" I said looking up at my brother, he returned my answer with a smile, I smiled back. Caleb led me out of the bathroom and into my room. We sat down at the end of my bed. I looked up at the wall in front of us, my wall collage of band posters.

"These bands mean alot don't they?" Caleb said not taking his eyes off my Green Day poster.

"So much" I said smiling.

"BEATRICE THERE'S SOME BOY AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!" Dad yelled from downstairs. Caleb and I jumped a little. I sighed and got up walking over to my closet to get a longer shirt so whoever it was didn't suspect anything. I put on a tight navy blue shirt and walked past Caleb who was still sitting on my bed watching my every move.

About halfway down the stairs I stopped. Four was standing in my door tense as my dad stood there staring at him. I slowly walked down the rest of the stairs.

"U-um hey?" I said to Four. my dad looked at me, shrugged and walked back towards the living room. I stepped out of the house closing the door behind me.

I looked down at my bare feet with my arms crossed over my chest. I didn't want to look up at him, I was embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed" Four said after moments of silence. I looked up at him into his eyes.

"Thanks" I mumbled looking back down at my feet.

"I regret not standing up for you today or helping you up or something" He sighed sitting down on the top step, running a hand through his hair.

"It's fine." I said sitting down next to him.

"It's not. A real man wouldn't put his hands on a girl." He said looking at the house across the street. I looked over at him, he looked back at me. "I regret after all this time not doing anything about him, I should have." He sighed again looking down at the space between us.

"I'm used to it. I hate it yes but I deal with all the hate" I said to him. Four looked back at me.

"I don't hate you." He said smiling while standing up and walking to his car, getting in and driving away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for language I kept forgetting to say it in all my other Author's Notes ~savingpoppunk**

"Oh shit" I woke up 20 minutes before school started. I quickly changed into a pair of black skinny jeans, threw my tangled blonde hair into a ponytail, grabbed a random pair of shoes and my phone and ran downstairs where Caleb was waiting for me by the front door holding my bag.

"Why didn't you wake me?!" I yelled while taking my bag from his hands and opening the door to the cold winter morning and out to Caleb's car.

"There's no way i'm ever waking you up." Caleb said getting into the driver's seat and starting the car.

By the time we got to school we had about 5 minutes to get our things and go to class. I waved goodbye to Caleb and ran to my locker.

"How's it going Tris?" I heard the familiar voice and tensed up.

"I don't have time for your bullshit right now Peter" I mumbled. He shoved me against my locker. I sighed.

"What happened to your wrist?" He asked taking a hold of my wrist that no longer had the bandage on it but the scars were clear as day. _I'm screwed. This is what you get for not changing your shirt or getting a jacket._ "Did you cut yourself? Are you an emo?" I didn't move. "HEY EVERYONE LITTLE MISS TRIS PRIOR HERE CUTS HERSELF!" He let go of me. I ran down the hall while Peter, Molly, Drew and a few others in the hall laughed or chuckled.

I ran into someones chest. "I-i'm so sorry" I said holding back tears.

"Tris, it's fine just come on" Four said wrapping an arm around my shoulder and leading me down the hall into the janitor's closet. "What happened this time?" he asked calmly.

I slowly turned my arm around to show Four. He sighed and pulled up his right sleeve to reveal scars up and down his forearm. I gasped.

"You're not alone" He said looking down at his wrist. Four took his jacket off leaving him in only a black long sleeve. He handed his jacket to me.

"No Four-"

"Tobias" He said cutting me off. "Take it please I don't want anyone else knowing about that." The bell rang and Tobias looked at me and pointed at his jacked with his head. I took the jacket from him and put it on over my old worn out My Chemical Romance t-shirt.

"Thank you" I said rolling the sleeves up to my wrists.

"You're welcome" he said smiling and leaning against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I want to know you better." He grinned. That made me blush. "How about after school we go do something?"

"Sure" I said smiling. He started to leave. "Tobias?"

He turned and looked at me. "Yeah?"

"Why did you come over to my house yesterday and how did you get my address?" I asked him crossing my arms over my chest nervously.

"I wanted to tell you what I told you yesterday" He let go of the doorknob and took a step closer to me, letting the door close. "I got your address from Uriah." I giggled. "That's cute" He chuckled a little. The late bell rang and we left the janitors closet, when we got out we saw Christina, Uriah, and Zeke standing in front of the closet with their arms crossed over their chests.

"Okay someone talk." Zeke said taking a step towards us. Tobias and I looked at each other.

"Dude, calm, nothing happened." Tobias said to Zeke. I bit my lip and looked towards my friends who looked kinda happy.

I sighed. "Christiana." She squealed and ran and hugged me, I hugged her back. I looked at Uriah who looked confused. I rolled my eyes. "Nothing happened." I said to Christina as I let go of her.

"Why are you wearing Four's jacket?" Zeke asked.

"Dude she was in a short sleeve shirt I wasn't going to let her freeze to death." Tobias told him.

"But closet?" Zeke asked. Does he ever stop with questions?

"I wanted to talk to her in private." Tobias said rolling his eyes.

"So nothing happened? Correct?" Uriah said still standing in the same stop and position. Tobias and I shook our heads.

"We better get to class." Christina said looking at the time on her phone. We all nodded and went our separate ways to go to class. I looked over my shoulder as I followed Uriah to class and saw Tobias doing the same as he followed Zeke. He winked.

I knew I was in love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Credit to All Time Low for the song Lost in Stereo! I love that song so much I wanted to add it to this chapter :) enjoy :D ~savingpoppunk**

After school I decided to wait for Tobias on the wall while listening to music and scrolling through twitter.

"Listen to your emo music?" Peter said walking past me. I flashed him the finger, these bands mean too much.

"Was that the finger I just saw?" He said taking a few steps back so he was standing in front of me. I shrugged.

"Peter, fuck off." I heard someone say I looked towards the front doors to see Zeke standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. My jaw dropped.

"What are you gonna do?" Peter said to Zeke. Zeke looked from Peter to me, he stepped closer to Peter and bent down to look at him straight in the eyes. I didn't hear what he said to Peter, but his eyes got wide and Peter walked away silently.

"Come on" Zeke said taking me by the arm and lifting me off the ground. He started to drag me out to the parking lot.

"Zeke, let go of me. Where are you taking me?" I asked. He opened a door that was attached to a white Honda. Zeke put me inside the car in the passenger's seat, closed the door and walked around to the driver's side and got inside the car.

He ran a hand through his hair before he spoke. "Four is my best friend and I don't want to stab him in the back." Zeke gripped the steering wheel and layed his forehead on it.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked looking at him dumbfounded. "Where is Four by the way?"

"He left early." Zeke looked up at me. I clenched my fists. "Four's not exactly "Mr. Perfect" or who you think he is." I looked in front of me at all the students who were going to their buses, going to their cars, or just hanging around with their friends talking and laughing.

"That bastard" I said through clenched teeth.

"I'm not lying you can even ask Uriah" Zeke said looking towards his brother who was standing with Christina, Lynn, and Marlene.

"I believe you" I said quietly looking down at my fingers in my lap.

Zeke sighed and sat back in his seat. "I see the way look at him, I want you two together, But Four doesn't want that."

I looked over at Zeke as tears welded up in my eyes. I opened the door and ran out of the car and straight to Caleb's car or our Mom's old car. The door was locked. I slid down the passenger's door and pulled my legs up to my chest. I remembered I was still wearing Tobias's jacket and I quickly pulled it off and balled it up before throwing it a good 10 feet across the parking lot.

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and changed the song. Before I knew it my favorite song was playing in my ears.

_**Lost in stereo, lost in stereo, lost in stereo, lost in stereo**_

_**She works for the weekend, mixed tape of her favorite bands tearin' up the radio lost in the stereo sound**_

_**She's trouble in a tank top pretty little time bomb blowing up i'll take you down living in the radio lost in the stereo sound**_

**_She's dancing alone, i'm ready to go but she's so (lost in stereo, lost in stereo) she's out of control, so beautiful (lost in stereo, lost in stereo) and i've been waiting for so long she'll never know i'm losing hope 'cause she's so (lost in stereo, lost in stereo)_**

**_Shake down on a saturday sit back gotta catch my breath 'cause everytime I see her she's gonna take it back somehow_**

**_Tattoos and a switchblade attitude snakebite heart with a bubblegum smile sex in radio don't turn the radio down_**

**_She's dancing alone, i'm ready to go but she's so (lost in stereo, lost in stereo) she's out of control, so beautiful (lost in stereo, lost in stereo) and i've been waiting for so long she'll never know i'm losing hope 'cause she's so (lost in stereo, lost in stereo)_**

**_And i'm just like cellophane 'cause she sees right through me I know I know shes glitter and gold and that's just the price I pay when I don't even know her name she's slipping away_**

_**She works for the weekend, mixed tape of her favorite bands tearin' up the radio lost in the stereo sound**_

**_She's dancing alone, i'm ready to go but she's so (lost in stereo, lost in stereo) she's out of control, so beautiful (lost in stereo, lost in stereo) and i've been waiting for so long she'll never know i'm losing hope 'cause she's so (lost in stereo, lost in stereo)_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for a late update i've been busy. But also sorry if this is crappy but this answers all questions from chapter 4 :) ~savingpopunk**

"Why can't you tell me?" I asked into my phone, pacing back and forth in my room.

"Tris, I promised" Christina said.

"Chris, we've been friends for as long as I can remember. I know every little thing about you. Please tell me this one thing" I said to her. I could hear Christina sigh on the other line.

She knew exactly why Tobias "left early" and she wouldn't tell me. All because of some stupid promise she made to Zeke and Tobias.

"I'll be over in 10" She said before the line went dead. I looked at my phone and shrugged.

I began to worry after two minutes. I sat down on the floor leaning against the end of my bed, pulling my knees up to my chest.

A little while later my door opened and closed again. "Prior don't be upset about what i'm about to tell you" She said throwing her purse down on my bed. "Here you might need this afterwards" she put a bag down in front of me.

"Ice Cream?" I looked up at my best friend. she shook her head before sitting down next to me.

"Tris... Zeke is trying to keep you safe" Christina said. I stared at her, confused.

"Zeke lied to keep you safe. I want you safe. Four isn't who you and everyone thinks he is." She looked at the floor in front of her. "He has a girlfriend at the moment. Four wants to date you."

"And the problem is?" I asked. Christina stood up in front of me.

"BEATRICE PRIOR! FOUR EATON WANTS TO FUCKING USE YOU! HE WAS GOING TO LEAD YOU INTO SEX! HE WAS GOING TO MAKE HIS GIRLFRIEND JEALOUS! HE'S A BASTARD! HE DOES THIS TO A TON OF GIRLS!" she yelled before leaning against my Fall Out Boy poster and sliding down the wall in front of me. "Do you understand now?' she asked. I looked at her in the eyes, tears welling up in both of ours.

I hugged Christina crying into her shoulder and her crying into mine. "I can't believe this" I sobbed. Chris pulled away and looked me in the eyes. "Let's get Zeke to tell us Four's address" she smiled.

"I want to talk to him though" I said smiling.

I rang the doorbell and heard footsteps move inside the house. Tobias answered the door, shirtless.

"Tobias" I said looking up at him.

"Tobby! Who's at the door!" I heard a female's voice come from inside. She walked up next to Tobias wearing his shirt from earlier today which went down a little past her waist. "Who are you?" she asked me.

"I'm-"

"Shauna, go back upstairs please" Tobias said to her. Wait Shauna? Oh my god.

"No she can stay here" I said grinning at her.

"Why are you here?" Tobias asked me.

"Well I didn't want to ask you that when you were at _my_ house the other day" I said looking back at Tobias. "I just wanted to say that I know about your little pussy plan. It's not going to work on me" I looked over at Shauna who looked pissed. I turned to leave. "And oh Zeke has your jacket, I couldn't return it earlier because you left early." I turned back around and continued down his driveway to Christina's car.

"OMG TRIS DID YOU SEE HIS REACTION!" Chris yelled as soon as I sat down in the passenger's seat. We both laughed and high fived before pulling out of his driveway.

"I cannot believe I just did that" I said staring straight in front of me.

"Mhm" Christina said still happy. My phone went off and I looked to see who sent the message. _'So how'd it go? -Zeke' _I giggled a little and replied _'I don't know and plus he's your best friend" _I sent the message and locked my phone laying it in my lap.

"Who was it?" Chris asked not taking her eyes off the road.

"Zeke" I replied as my phone went off again. _'He needs to realize what he's actually doing.'_ I read the texts aloud to Christina.

I realized what I did was good for me and Tobias but also bad.


	6. Chapter 6

**YAY! Next chapter :) crdit goes to Veronica and Sleeping With Sirens in this chapter! Enjoy 3 ~savingpoppunk**

After Christina dropped me off I went upstairs to take a shower. As I stripped off my shirt I looked at a few of the first cuts I ever made on my sides that were still visible. _5 years ago_.Almost 5 years ago I lost my mom.

_"Mom, please" I begged._

_"Beatrice, honey, it's part of nature" She told me. I stood beside the hospital bed looking down at my mom, her skin pale, her brown hair graying._

_"Fuck that" I told her tears welling in my eyes. "Mom, you can't leave me like this."_

_"I don't want to" she said a smile forming on her lips. "Don't let anyone control you Beatrice. I love you" tears fell down her eyes as she closed them. The machine next to her beeped. I sank down to my knees still holding her hand crying saying "I love you" over and over._

Everything went back to normal. Tears were falling down my eyes as I stripped the rest of my clothes off and stepping into the hot shower. I sat down as soon as I got in and let the water fall down my naked back. I cried harder and harder.

When I decided to get out of the shower I went into my room and into my closet to get a pair of purple plaid pajama pants and a long sleeved black shirt. i changed into them quickly and walked back into my room.

I saw my phone buzzing on the table next to my bed and walked over and unlocked it to see 5 messages from an unknown number.

_'Tris really?'_

_'I can't believe you did that'_

_'Who told you?'_

_'Thanks for that'_

_'Fine don't reply. I didn't want you to anyway. Have fun getting beat up tomorrow. Emo'_

That last message killed me. I locked my phone and threw it back on my bedside table. _Emo_. I kept thinking that. I didn't want that. I picked my phone back up and texted him back.

_'I can't believed you lied' _I sent the message. He texted back a few moments later.

_'I'm sorry. I'm just confused. I broke up with Shauna. I really did. I like you'_ I looked at the text. My jaw dropped.

_'Don't' _I replied. I screenshot the message and sent the picture to Christina and Zeke.

I decided to go to bed even though it was only 9:00. I grabbed my earbuds and plugged them into my phone.

_**Stay for tonight. If you want to. I can show you. What dreams are made of, as i'm dreaming of your face. I've been away such a long time and I miss you there I can't imagine being anywhere else. I can't imagine being anywhere else but here.**_

_'I will until you like me back' _Tobias replied.

_**How the hell did you ever pick me? Honestly, I could sing you a song but I don't think words could express your beauty. It's singing to me. How the hell did we end up like this? You bring out the beast in me. I fell in love from the moment we kissed. Since then we've been history.**_

_'Just don't okay Tobias' _I replied.

_'How hell did you ever pick me?' _I sent after sending the first message.

**_They say that love is forever. Your forever is all I need. Please stay as long as you need. Can't promise things won't be broken. But I swear I will never leave. Please stay forever with me._**

_'You deserve love from someone who actually loves you'_ Tobias replied. I didn't have anything to say. I turned the light off and sat in my bed the only light coming from my phone.

**_It goes to show, I hope you know that you are what my dreams are made of. Can't fall asleep, can't fall asleep. I lay in my bed at night. As I dream of you. I'll fall in love, you'll fall in love. It could mean everything, everything to me. I can't imagine being anywhere else._**

_'Tobias.' _he didn't have to do this.

**_They say that love is forever. Your forever is all I need. Please stay as long as you need. Can't promise things won't be broken. But I swear I will never leave. Please stay forever with me._**

_'What are you currently listening to?' _He asked.

_'If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn' _I replied quickly.

**_The way that we are. Is the reason I stay. As long as you're here with me I know we'll be OK. The way that we are. Is the reason I stay. As long as you're here with me I know we'll be OK._**

**_They say that love is forever. Your forever is all I need. Please stay as long as you need. Can't promise things won't be broken. But I swear I will never leave. Please stay forever with me._**

_'That's a good song ;)' _Tobias said.

_'I know that, that's exactly why i'm listening to it XD'_ I said back.

_**(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one baby) They say that love is forever. Your forever is all I need. **__**(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one baby) Please stay as long as you need.**_

_****__****__**(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one baby) Can't promise that things won't be broken but I swear that I will never leave **__**(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one baby) Please stay forever with me.**_

_______'Maybe that can be our song 3'_ Tobias's text read.


	7. Chapter 7

**So there's a few words here and there (sorry about those). Song: Give em hell kid by My Chemical Romance. Also credit to Fall Out Boy and Bring me The Horizon for the quotes (last couple of paragraphs (hopefully you know ;)) ~savingpoppunk**

The next morning I drove Caleb to school in his car. It was silent the whole way to school. Once we got to school we got out of the car I walked ahead of my brother not saying goodbye or anything.

I walked down the hall to my locker, I was looking straight ahead when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked to my right to see Tobias have Shauna pushed up against the wall making out with her.

I walked up behind Tobias and crossed my arms. I waited a few seconds before pulling my phone out of my pocket and unlocking it.

"I'm sorry. I'm just confused. I broke up with Shauna. I really did. I like you." I read aloud. Tobias and Shauna stopped kissing, Tobias turned around to look at me.

"What are you doing?" Tobias asked me, anger in his eyes.

"Oh, I thought you broke up with Shauna?" I asked complete ignoring his question. Shauna stepped up so she was standing next to Tobias.

"What?" Shauna asked Tobias, she seemed annoyed. "You told this little bitch that we broke up?" Okay, what? I looked over at Shauna with an _Excuse me_ look on my face.

"Maybe it will be our song" I said in a mimmiky voice. "Well you know what Tobias, I think our new song is Go Fuck yourself And Never Talk To Me Again" I said before turning on my heel and walking down the hall towards my locker.

"Hey Tris!" I turned around to see Uriah jogging to catch up with me. "You're getting good at this" he said chuckling.

"Yeah. Maybe I should write songs for Panic that would totally be one of their songs" I said laughing and high fiveing Uriah as we walked down the hall to the lunch room.

We walked through the open doors. It was loud. "There's Chris" Uriah said pointing towards the back corner of the lunchroom. We walked over trying to avoid people passing us as we passed them.

"I heard" Christina said annoyed as she poked a piece of lettuce in her salad with her fork.

"He lied" I said sitting down in a chair across from her. "I'm sorry, I was mad" I said crossing my arms on the table and laying my head on them.

"Tris, it's fine he deserved it" Chris said still sounding annoyed.

"What's wrong Chris?" Uriah asked.

"My best friend didn't tell me what happened" She said with a little anger in her voice.

"I'm sorry okay" I said lifting my head and Standing up grabbing my bag from the chair next to me and walking off towards the other side of the lunchroom where Caleb was sitting at a table with Suzanne.

"Hey, i'm sitting here today" I said sitting next to Caleb. They both looked at me with confusion. "What?"

"Something wrong?" Caleb asked me.

"Surprised you haven't heard" I said sitting back in my chair and crossing my arms, rolling my eyes.

"No?" They both said at the same time.

I didn't want to deal with them, I got up again and walked to an empty table across the room next to the window. I sat down and put my earbuds in still pissed. I looked out the window while the song played.

_**Oh baby here comes the sound! I took a train outta New Orleans and they shot me full of ephedrine. This is how we like to do it in the murder scene. Can we settle up the score?**_

_**If you were here i'd never have a fear. So go on live your life. But I miss you more than I did yesterday.**_

_**You're beautiful!**_

_**Well i'm a total wreck and almost everyday. Like the firing squad or the mess you made. Well don't I look pretty walking down the street in the best damn dress I own?**_

_**If you were here i'd never have a fear. So go on live your life. But I miss you more than I did yesterday. You're so far away. So c'mon show me how. Cause I mean this more than words can ever say.**_

_**Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say we are young and we don't care. (oh whoa ow) Your dreams and your hopeless hair. (oh whoa ow) We never wanted it to be this way. For all our lives. do you care {at all}?**_

_**If you were here i'd never have a fear. So go on live your life. But I miss you more than I did yesterday. You're so far away. So c'mon show me how. Cause I mean this more than words can ever say.**_

_**(What'd you call me?)**_

**_(Well there's no way i'm kissing that guy)_**

I felt the table shake a little, I took my eyes off the trees outside and looked across the round table to see a guy who looked a year older.

"Ummm hi?" I said taking the left earbud out.

"Hi, ummm sorry is it okay if I sit here?" He asked.

"Yeah sure. I'm Tris" I said with a half smile.

"I'm Al. Nice shirt by the way" Al said pointing to my shirt. I was wearing a long sleeve Panic! At The Disco shirt that had Brendon from the cover of Too Weird To Live! Too Rare To Die on it.

"Thanks" I said smiling. "What's your favorite song by them?" I asked.

"Collar Full" Al replied. "Yours?"

"Northern Downpour" I said. I looked over towards Tobias. He was sitting with Zeke and Shauna in the middle of the lunchroom. He stared at me with anger in his eyes.

"Woah, the two losers are friends now huh?" Peter said walking by.

I stood up yanking the other earbud out of my ear. "Shut the hell up Peter!" I yelled. he turned around and looked at me. "You heard me right" I crossed my arms.

"Finally learned to talk?" Peter asked stepping closer to me. He was only a few inches away.

"Sure, but i'm done with your shit" I told him. Everyone got quiet and was staring at us. "I'm sick of you and everything you have to fucking say!" I yelled louder, slamming my hand on the table causing it to shake.

"You're just upset that Four doesn't like you" Peter said, smirking.

"You're appealing to emotions I simply do not have" I said. Grabbing my bag from the chair I was just sitting in and my phone off the table. "Go to hell for heavens sake" I threw my bag over my shoulder and walked across the lunchroom to the door. I didn't care everyone was following my every move I just wanted to get out of there.

Before I walked out of the room completely I stopped in the door turned around and gave me entire school the finger.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry about late update... my computer maybe broke... Song credit goes to All Time Low for Stella :) ~savingpopunk**

Later that night I stood in front of the open fridge. It was full of different types of beer and wine. I walked back over to the kitchen door to make sure my dad wouldn't see me. I went back over to the fridge and grabbed two beers and ran back to my room.

I threw the cans on my bed and closed my door and locked it. I walked back over to my bed and sat down on the bed. I could hear Caleb playing music across the hall. I walked over to my dresser where my phone was sitting next to my small speaker, I plugged it in and chose a song before sitting back down again.

_**3 pm on my feet and staggering through misplaced words and a sinking feeling I got carried away. Sick, sick of sleeping on the floor. Another night another score. I'm jaded bottles breaking.**_

I opened a can and stared at it for a second. "For all the shit in life." I said taking a sip. It stung going down my throat, but it felt good.

**_You're only happy when i'm wasted. I point my finger but I just cant place it. Fells like i'm falling in love when i'm falling to the bathroom floor. I remember how you tasted. I've had you so many times- let's face it. Feels like i'm falling in love alone. Stella wou_**_**ld you take me home? Stella would you take me home?**_

I knew I would probably get drunk, but I didn't care. I wanted to forget today.

_**2 am i'm on a blackout binge again. You know I don't need sleep and I lost my keys, but I've got so many friends and they keep, keep me coming back for more. Another night, another score. I'm faded, bottles breaking.**_

I heard my phone vibrate, I wasn't going to answer the phone like this. I downed the first can and moved onto the second one. I looked at the clock on my bedside table, 2:05am and school tomorrow. I shrugged and opened the can.

_**You're only happy when i'm wasted. I point my finger but I just cant place it. Fells like i'm falling in love when i'm falling to the bathroom floor. I remember how you tasted. I've had you so many times- let's face it. Feels like i'm falling in love alone. Stella wou**_**_ld you take me home?_**

"To Tobias" I laughed and took the first sip.

_**One more reason I should have never have met you. Just another reason I could never forget you. Down we go, the rooms spinning out of control. Lose yourself in a chemical moment. The night life's taking it's toll. That's just the way it goes. Come on, Stella would you take me home?**_

_**You're only happy when i'm wasted I point my finger but I just can't place it. Feels like i'm falling in love alone. Stella would you take me home?**_

I left my room to get another can. When I came back I started to feel a little weird. I let it go and opened the can.

_**You're only happy when i'm wasted. I point my finger but I just cant place it. Fells like i'm falling in love when i'm falling to the bathroom floor. I remember how you tasted. I've had you so many times- let's face it. Feels like i'm falling in love alone. Stella wou**_**_ld you take me home?_**

_**You're only happy when i'm wasted. I point my finger but I just cant place it. Fells like i'm falling in love when i'm falling to the bathroom floor. I remember how you tasted. I've had you so many times- let's face it. Feels like i'm falling in love alone.**_

I don't remember anything after finishing that can.

The next morning I woke up to Caleb shaking my shoulders. "Tris! Why the hell are there beer can in here?!" Caleb yelled at me. I didn't answer. "What time is it?" I asked sitting up. I guess I sat up too fast because my head hurt like hell. "Get ready we leave in five" Caleb said before leaving my room.

I got up off the floor and walked over to my closet. I put a hoodie on over my purple shirt, a pair of blue skinny jeans, and my black and white converse. I went to go brush my hair and teeth in the bathroom.

I stared at myself in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes. I sighed and picked up my brush brushing my blonde hair, I needed a hair cut pretty bad. I brushed my teth before walking downstairs and meeting Caleb at the door.

"Let's just get this day over" I said grabbing my bag off the floor under the coat hanger and opening the door.

I leaned my head against my locker door and sighing. I fell to the ground with my head in my hands.

"Tris?" I heard a deep voice ask.

"Go away" I told them. I felt a hand on my back, I looked up to see Tobias looking at me. "Go away" I told him again as I put my head back in my hands.

"What happened?" He asked me. Before I knew it I was up and running to the bathroom. _Oh great, hangover._

After I finished emptying my stomach I washed my face and hands and walked back into the hallway and saw Tobias standing against the wall with my bag in his hands. He handed it to me before speaking.

"Come on, i'll take you home" He said walking towards the front doors.

"I'm not leaving" I said crossing my arms.

"Tris, explained what happened and maybe i'll leave you in the nurse's office all day.

"What just happened was me having a hangover" I said walking past him out the doors.


	9. Chapter 9

**The album being played in this is 'A Fair For The Dramatic' and the song is 'Yeah Boy, And Doll Face!' by Pierce The Veil :3 characters owned by Veronica Roth. ~savingpoppunk**

"Welcome to my lovely home" Tobias said sarcastically. He lead me inside, to my right was a hallway about 4 feet long and a the end was a stairwell, to my left was the living room and straight in front of me was the kitchen.

"This is nice" I said. looking at the few pictures on the walls in the hallway. Tobias started to walk up the stairs, I looked at him.

"My dads not home" He said before I followed him. Tobias lead me down a hallway where his room was all the way at the end.

"I like having my room down here where i'm away from my dad" He explained before opening the door. I thought Tobias would have had half naked girls laying on the beach or something hanging around his room but instead he had throwing knifes, pictures, paintings, and drawings around his room. Almost coving all the wall space.

"Dude wow" I said looking at one of the pictures. There was a young woman sitting on the beach holding a boy who looked to be 4 years old.

"That's my mom" Tobias said from behind me. "That year we went to California and we went to the beach, that was first time ever going to one." I looked turned around to look at him flipping through CDs.

"I've never been to the beach" I said looking down in shame. His head whipped to look at me and his jaw dropped.

He sat down at the edge of his bed, still going through the pile of CDs. I walked over and sat beside him. "Whatcha looking for?" I asked looking over his shoulder to look at the CDs with him.

"Trying to find something you like." He said "Ah found one" He put the rest of the CDs down and put the CD into the stereo that was sitting on the window sill. Pierce The Veil started to play through the speakers. I smiled up at Tobias.

"So Tris, tell me about you" He said sitting at the end of the bed facing me.

I turned facing him. "I live with my dad and my brother" is all I said.

"I live with my dad" Tobias said. "What about your mom?"

I sighed. "She's um died" Tears stared to well in my eyes, I held them back.

"So is mine" Tobias said sighing. "How?"

"Brain Tumor. Yours?"

"Car accident then coma"

The song changed.

"That's when I started to cut. When she was diagnosed." I said playing with the end of the sleeve on my hoodie.

"I started when" He sounded like he didn't want to go on, but he did "when my dad started to beat me."

"How old were you?" I asked looking at him.

"13" He said looking at me. "You?"

"10" I said looking back down at my sleeve.

The song changed again. I looked up at Tobias who was staring at me.

"What?" I asked, I felt my cheeks getting red.

"You're beautiful" He said smiling. Tobias moved a little closer to me, he was now sitting a few inches away. We stared at each other in the eye.

**_With a lie that i'm enjoying every moment with myself and she could make hell feel like home._**

Before I knew it, his lips were on mine.

_**So i'm never leaving her alone, but if your lightning lips aren't mine**_

Our lips moved in sync. It felt nice, I liked this, I took my lips off his. _NOOOO!_

"What about Shauna?" I asked.

"I broke up with her" He said.

I got of his bed and picked up my bag. "I'm sorry Tobias. I don't know if you're telling the truth or lying to me again." I walked out the door, down the hall, and out the front door. I started to walk. I didn't need this.

I really did not need this. Not again. Not after...


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay so you know how they are adding Edgar to the Insurgent movie? Yeah well he's starting in this fanfic :) I quite like him a little ~savingpoppunk**

You know how some bullies have a reason and others don't?

That's how it is with Peter. He has a reason. He has for over a year.

He's my ex.

No one knows. Only Caleb.

We had a year and a half relationship. My side was torture, his side was fun.

You see, Peter was my first boyfriend. One day I caught him cheating on me, so I fired back, I cheated on him with this guy named Edgar. Peter later told me that he loved me but he hated that way I was. I didn't believe him and continued to date Edgar behind his back.

Peter found out I was still dating Edgar and became abusive. He continued to be like that until he forced me to break up with Edgar. After I broke up with Edgar, Peter wouldn't let me out of our relationship. My brother then called the cops on him and he was in prison for a few months.

About 4 months ago Peter was let out. He still continues to do the things he does to me to make me regret it all.

I found out about month before he was let out the girl he was cheating on me with:

1. He never broke up with her.

2. She committed suicide a week before my brother called the cops on him.

She died because of him. She died to get away from him. She died to get out of that relationship, because she found out that he was cheating on me with her, he was using her. He was using me.

Peter never knew I cut, he never knew about my suicidal attempt, he never knew I used to wake up screaming and crying at night because of him, he never knew about me being scared to sleep. He never did and no one will ever know.

The only reason I live today is:

1. Caleb

2. My mom

3. Bands

Edgar was a good guy, he cared. He knew I was in a relationship and he knew about all the things Peter did to me. Edgar took me to my first concert and it's one I'll never forget.

I told Peter that I was going to New York with my brother for the weekend, but I was going to see All Time Low.

I played in bed thinking about all of this I started at the white ceiling. I was lost in my thoughts.

Sometimes I still think about Edgar and where he could be. If he was waiting for me to come back. If he was single or taken. I still think about the way his clear blue eyes looked at me. I still think about the way his blonde hair felt as I ran my fingers through it as we kissed.

Tomorrow would have been a year we were together but I was only with him for 5 months.

The next day in math I sat in my same spot I sat in everyday, back corner of the class.

"Um hi?" I heard a familiar voice say. I froze I started down at my random doodle in my notebook.

"Ah, come in, come in." I heard Mrs. Mathews say. "Class please welcome our new student, Edgar"

I couldn't believe it. He was right there once again. I looked up and smiled.


	11. Chapter 11

**YAY! MORE FEELS! Okay, maybe I cry writing these chapters... ~savingpoppunk**

When the bell rang I rushed to get out if class without Edgar seeing me.

"Hey Tris" Tobias said as I walked out of the classroom.

"Hey about yesterday. I'm sorry I've had a lot on my mind lately" I said nervously and turned around to see Edgar walking along looking down at his schedule.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked as we stopped in front of my locker.

"Not really" I kept looking behind me to see if he would notice me. "Damnit" I whispered.

"You okay?" Tobias asked as I opened my locker.

"Yeah totally fine. Why?" I asked. I turned around and saw Edgar across the hall talking to Marlene. Jealousy ran through me and I turned around and grabbed my things before slamming my locker shut.

"Okay why are you pissed?" Tobias asked.

"I'm fucking fine" I said through gritted teeth and making my towards the lunchroom with Tobias next to me. I didn't want Edgar to see me and see Tobias standing close next to me and make him think we're dating.

I walked through the lunchroom doors and found Christina and Uriah sitting at our usual table, Zeke was also there.

I slammed my book down on the table as I sat down causing it to shake and my friends stop laughing about whatever they were laughing about.

"Awwwww what's Trissy upset about now?" Uriah said in a high voice. Christina smirked.

"Shut the hell up or I swear to god" I said giving him my 'I'm going to cut you' look.

"Have you guys seen the new guy? He's hot" Christina said.

I looked over at her. As Edgar passed by our table. He looked at me and looked straight ahead. Then looked back at me. His eyes got wide.

"Tris" I heard him whisper.

"You're the new guy right?" Christina asked him. I kicked her in the shin under the table. I smiled up at Edgar.

"Hey" I said, my smile turning into a grin. I stood up looking at him. He stepped closer to me.

"Its you" Edgar smiled before wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me tight. "I thought I would never see you again" he whispered in my ear before pulling away.

"Woah, woah, woah. Tris, you know him?" Zeke said standing up.

"Yeah. I do." I said standing next to Edgar. I smiled up at him and he smiled back down at me.

"How?" Tobias asked, a little jealousy in his voice.

I sighed before replying. "You guys deserve to know." I sat back down in my chair next to Tobias and Edgar sat next to me and Zeke.

"You know how um Peter beats me up" I said playing with my fingers in front of me on the table.

"Yeah" My friends replied.

"I dated him. He was an abusive boyfriend. He cheated on me, used me." Tears welled up in my eyes but I held them back. "So I cheated on him with Edgar." I motioned towards the blonde on my right. "Peter forced me to break up with Edgar when he found out I was cheating on him." I stopped I couldn't go any longer.

"I knew she was dating him" Edgar began. "I loved her when he didn't, I did everything I could to make her happy. When Peter forced us to break up I was hurt and when Tris was telling me I knew she was hurt and I was hurt because I lost someone I truly love and that I couldn't protect her from him any longer." He stopped.

Everyone around the table had their jaws dropped and they were looking between the two of us. Tobias got up quickly.

"Tobias!" I yelled. He was walking towards Peter's table.

"Do you not understand?!" He yelled at Peter. "How could you do that to someone so innocent and beautiful as her?!" He yelled again. Peter stood up in front of Tobias.

"Who?" He asked.

"TRIS!" Tobias yelled. Everyone in the lunchroom looked at me. I grabbed my book off the table and ran out the lunchroom. I heard someone get up from behind me but up didn't bother turning around. I walked into the hallway.

"Tris." I heard Edgar say.

"Shut up" I said turning around. He looked shocked. Tears were falling down my cheeks. "Just shut up."

"You're so much different" Edgar said walking an inch closer to me.

"I'm not the same Tris" I said angrily. "All the things Peter did and still does to me makes me stronger. I'm not weak."

"I've been switching schools a lot to find you" he said in a calm voice.

"Don't try any longer please" I said between sobs. Tobias walked out of the lunchroom.

"I'm sorry" he said looking at me with sadness in his eyes.

"Don't be. Thank you." I said back, Edgar looked at me confused.

I walked closer to Edgar, I stopped in front of him looking up in his eyes. "I'm sorry but I've moved on. There's someone else to be there for me."

I walked passed him and up to Tobias, Edgar looked at us. "Thank you." I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my toes. I closed my eyes. "I trust you" I pressed my lips against Tobias's, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him kissing me back.

Edgar grunted behind us and I smiled against Tobias's lips.

"You're a daydream away, Tris" Tobias said against mine.


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm so nice aren't I :3 LOL NOT! ~savingpoppunk**

"Your ex is a dickhead." Tobias said walking through my front door.

"Like to explain what happened?" I asked closing the door. He had bruised lip and his knuckles were bleeding.

"He fucking beat me up!" Tobias yelled.

"Tobias, calm down and it looks like you beat him up." I grabbed his hand that wasn't bleeding and led him to the kitchen. Where my dad was standing with his head in the fridge. He looked up at us.

"Who's he?" Dad asked me pointing at Tobias.

I facepalmed. "Dad, oh my god. You've met him!" I said. Dad shrugged and walked back into the living room. "Sit" I told Tobias I motioned towards the counter next to the sink.

He sat on the counter. "Expain to me what exactly happened." I said wetting a cloth and pressing it against his lip gently.

"He showed up at my house said a few things I didn't listen to and then BAM! The bastard punches me." He said.

I sighed. "He wants to protect me now. Wow" I said rolling my eyes. "Tobias?" I asked looking from his lips to his eyes.

"Yeah?" He said.

"That night you told me you liked me and then the next day you were making out with Shauna" I paused. "Were you still with her?"

He ran the hand that wasn't bleeding through his hair. "She wants me. She's obsessed with me."

"What?" I asked. I moved onto working on his hand.

"That night you came over when she was over, she took off her clothes leaving her in only a bra and underwear. I yelled at her to get out and she wouldn't she tried to have sex with me. I was hurt so bad when you told me all that stuff that I don't even know. The next day she pulled me against her as I was walking by her in the hall." He seemed so mad.

"Its fine." I said. I threw the rag in the sink. "I have bandages in my bathroom upstairs."

I led Tobias upstairs to my room. I opened the door to my room.

"Wow" Tobias said looking at my band posters.

"Just come on" I took his wrist and led him into my bathroom. "Sit anywhere I guess" I got kneeled down to get under the counter that took up the entire wall.

"Is this what you used?" Tobias asked holding up one of my three razor blades.

"Sadly" I said digging out the gauze. I stood back up in front of Tobias and took his hand that was split not much but it was.

After I finished I taped it down. Tobias grabbed me by the waist, pulled me closer to him and looked at me in the eyes. I put my hands on his shoulders.

"Thank you" he said smiling. I smiled back.

You see, we aren't official, we don't even call it friends with benefits. We call it two people in love.

"No one's better than you" he said. I laughed.

"I'm happy to have you" I said putting my forehead against his.

"Turn on Sleeping With Sirens because I want to make out with you to them." He said laughing.

"Just ruin it all." I said laughing and pulling away from him. I walked into my room and laying down on my unmade bed.

"I want us to be official." Tobias said laying down next to me. I smiled and my stomach started to feel like there were butterflies in it.

"I do too" I've never felt this happy. I'm slowly forgetting the past.

"Okay then, come on" Tobias said sitting up and looking at me.

"Where?" I asked sitting up and looking back at him.

"On a date." He said standing up.

"Of course Mr. Eaton" I said standing up.

"You're too perfect Ms. Prior" Tobias said.


	13. Chapter 13

**I have no words ~savingpoppunk**

Tobias and I sat on a bench facing the city, his arm around me, and me cuddled into his side.

"I know this isn't the best first date but it was last minute." He said.

"Its perfect." I said looking up at him.

Tobias leaned down and placed his lips gently on mine. "Be mine?" He asked.

"I already am." I grinned.

"Soooooo?" Christina asked before English started.

"What?" I said. I looked up at my best friend, I sent my text.

"Tell me. How was your date?" She squealed. A few people around us looked at us.

"Shut up! No one knows but you and Zeke and promise me no one else will EVER know." I told her.

My phone viberated in my lap.

"You texting your hubby?" Christina asked in a high voice. I glared at her. "Okay, I'll stop" she put her hands up.

The bell for class to start rang and Christina jumped off my desk and walked around to her's in the row beside mine.

Mrs. Reyes walked into class, looked at us and turned to face the board where she began to write.

After class I left Christina behind so she could talk to Mrs. Reyes about extra credit. I walked to my locker.

"Hey Tris" I heard Peter say from behind me.

"Go away." I told him as I opened my locker. I heard him walk closer to me.

He put his hands on waist. I tensed at his touch. "You're sexy." He whispered in my ear.

"No." I said quietly.

He turned me around and threw me against my locker. He pushed me against it and I couldn't move. "TOBIAS!" I yelled as loud as I could. Peter put his hand over my mouth. People began to circle around the scene.

"You will take me back. You will take Edgar back also. You will not tell-"

He was cut off by Zeke who threw him against the locker about 2 down.

"Are you okay?" Tobias asked me, his hands on my shoulders and worry in his eyes.

I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, I just looked into space.

I felt Tobias shaking me a little. "Tris." He put his hand on my cheek, the other still on my shoulder. I began to cry a little, he wiped my tears with his thumb as they ran down my cheek. "I'm here" he said to me, I began to shake.

"Okay there's really nothing to see here!" I heard Zeke yell.

"Tris, speak to me." Tobias kept saying over and over. I finally looked into his eyes. He breathed. "Thank god."

"He told me I will take him back." I said, tears falling faster.

"What?"

"He told me I will take Edgar back." Tobias pulled me into a hug, I hugged back and cried into his chest.

"If anyone wants you, they'll have to get through me." Tobias said into my hair.


	14. Chapter 14

**Song: My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark by Fall Out Boy c: ~savingpoppunk**

**_All the writers keep writing what they write. Somewhere another vein just dies. I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see. That you're the antidote to everything except for me, me._**

I stared out the window at a lunch table. Not my regular table, I wanted to be alone today. I felt someone sit down. I took out one earbud and looked at them. It was Edgar.

"Why won't you take me back?" He asked.

"Why hello to you too." I said sarcastically.

"Tris." He said.

"You know the old me. To- Four knows the new me." I said. Leaning across the table. "I'm forgetting the past. Sure I missed you and yes I thought about you, but I got over you." I told him before leaning back in my chair.

"I always thought you were a bitch." He mumbled but I still heard him.

I stood up, slamming my hands on the table. "YES IM A BITCH OKAY!" I yelled and I continued to. "IM ALSO EMO! BUT I DONT NEED YOU ANYMORE AND YOU DONT NEED ME SO GO FUCK PETER OR SOMETHING BASTARD!" I grabbed my bag and began to walk. I turned around. "BY THE WAY THANKS FOR HITTING MY BOYFRIEND YOU DICKHEAD!" I turned around and walked towards the doors just as Tobias and Uriah walked in.

"Tris?" Uriah asked.

"What?" I asked him back as tears began to roll down my cheeks. Tobias put an arm around me. "Everyones a bitch I'm done." I squeezed out of Tobias's grip and walked past Uriah.

"Tris!" I heard Tobias yell but I kept walking.

I walked into the bathroom and walked into an open stall. I locked the stall and slid my left sleeve up and saw the last scars from a few weeks ago. I dug into my bag and pulled out my wallet and opened it, I searched for the blade I carried around with me.

I looked between my wrist and the blade I held in my hand.

After I was done I had made 10 cuts on my wrist and forearm. I took toilet paper and pressed it against my arm to stop the bleeding.

When they stopped bleeding I pulled down my sleeve and flushed the toilet paper. I unlocked the stall and looked at myself in the mirror that took up the entire wall. I sighed and walked out the bathroom.

Tobias was standing across the hall from the bathroom. He saw me and opened his arms, I ran into them. "I hate myself." I cried into his chest.

"What happened?" Tobias whispered in my ear.

I pulled away from him and wiped my eyes. "I told Edgar off."

"So?" Tobias asked.

I sighed and pulled up my left sleeve. Tobias sighed through his nose and took my arm in his hand, running his thumb over them gently. He looked back up at me, but I was looking at his hand as tears ran down my cheeks again. "Tris I'm sorry to say this but you need to see someone or something like that." Tobias said to me.

I leaned against a locker and slid down. I pulled my legs against my chest and hugged them. "I know I do." I sobbed into my knees.

Tobias sat next to me and pulled me into his side. "I'm here you know." He said kissing the top of my head.

"Tobias, I can't keep living like this. It hurts. I can't be the daughter my mom always wanted, my dad hates me, first my one ex was after me but now both are?!" I yelled "I cant I'm sorry I just can't."

He kissed the top of my head. "You're perfect in my view." He told me.

People began to pile out of the lunchroom, Tobias stood up, helping me up.

We waited there for our friends, his arm around my waist and me leaning against the locker. When Christina saw us she came running up to me and pulled me into a hug, I hugged her back.

"I heard what happened oh my god Tris im so sorry" she said, her voice cracking. "You're lucky to have someone like Tobias." I pulled away from her and looked at her, giving her a confused look.

"Chris, you'll always be my best friend no matter what." I told her.


	15. Chapter 15

**No cussing. Enjoy :) ~savingpoppunk**

"I just don't know." I said playing with my straw. "I mean he's nice but I don't know if it will work." I looked up at Edgar.

"Its up to you. I'm not telling you to come back to me." He said taking a sip of his soda.

"I feel like this relationship was rushed." I sighed and looked at my cup.

Edgar and I decided to hang out. We thought it would be okay to talk again.

"What does your brother think?" He asked setting his cup back on the table in front of him.

I shrugged. The breeze brew my hair in my face, but I just let it stay there.

"Does Four know we're hanging out?" He asked again. I looked up at him and shook my head.

"He would hate it." I said. "I really think I should just tell him the truth."

"About this right now or you not knowing about him?" Edgar asked. I looked across the street and saw a couple laughing and just happy.

"I'm not happy with Tobias." I looked back at Edgar. "We aren't like that couple. He's kinda overprotective, he cares too much." I said gesturing to the couple across the street.

I heard Edgar sigh. "We used to be like that." He said. I looked at him but he was still looking at the two.

I sighed too. "I miss those times." Edgar looked at me his eyesbrows furrowed. "I do."

"I miss them too." I really did. I didn't realize how much I did until Tobias and I got together. Sure, I liked Tobias, a lot, but we rushed.

"Whatever you decide to do with Tobias trust me ill be here." He winked, I smirked at him.

All of a sudden Edgar's eyes got wide. I raised an eyebrow and looked behind me.

"Tris?!" Tobias said questionably, he was walking with Zeke. I turned back around quickly and started to drink my soda fast.

"Tris." He said again. I looked up and saw him standing in front of the table with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Hey..." I fake grinned.

"Um-" Edgar said.

Tobias cleared his throat. "Its not a date." I told him.

"We're just friends." Edgar said. I nodded towards Edgar, still looking at Tobias. He didn't look amused.

I rolled my eyes and looked down at my phone in my lap. "Little overprotective huh?" I mumbled.

"What?" Tobias said, his face softening.

I looked up at Edgar who nodded a little before standing in front of Tobias. "I'm sorry but if I'm not allowed to be around my friends or have my own space then I don't think this relationship will work." I crossed my arms over my chest.

Zeke looked at me in surprise. Tobias raised his eyebrows. "You chose me over him and now your taking his side?!" Tobias half yelled.

"Im not siding with him." I said

"If you were a good girlfriend you would've told me." He stepped closer.

"Get away from me." He stood there. "Go away." He still stood there.

"That bastard hot me for YOU all he cares about is YOU!" People were beginning to stare. "I care too thats why I don't want you around him."

"I know him you don't and like I said you don't need to know what im doing 24/7. Goodbye."

He walked away after that, Zeke following behind him.

"Oh my god." I sat down. "Oh my god."

"What?" Edgar asked a smile on his face.

"I did it!" I yelled. We both jumped up. Edgar hugged me.

"Can we try again?" He asked in my hair.

I separated from him and looked up at him. "Maybe."

He leaned down and touched his lips against mine, cupping my face in his hands. It felt right. I missed his lips. I missed him kissing me like he was right now.

I took separated first and stared at Edgar, he was smiling wide. I laughed a little.

Sometimes you can't let go of your entire past.


	16. Chapter 16

**So maybe Tobias and Tris will get back together ~savingpoppunk**

"I'm not going out with you." I said closing my locker and looking at Edgar.

"Just hang out okay?" He asked.

"I don't know. I mean I just broke up with Tobias..." I hugged my books to my chest.

"Pleaaasssseeeee" he begged.

"When?" I asked him.

"Tonight." He smiled.

**EDGAR'S POINT OF VIEW**

I heard the doorbell rang and ran to get it. I opened the door to find Tris standing there looking uncomfortable.

She looked beautiful. She wasn't wearing her usual skinny jeans, old band t-shirt, converse, and a sweatshirt.

She was wearing black shorts, because the weather was getting better for April, a red Sleeping With Sirens tank top (of course), a black leather jacket over it, and black combat boots.

"You okay?" I asked opening the door wider for her. She nodded and walked inside.

"What are we doing?" She asked turning to me as I closed the door.

"Nothing really. Why'd you change?" After I said it I knew I shouldn't have by the look she gave me.

"I didn't know what we were doing." She looked around a little.

"Want to go to my room or the living room." I asked leaning against the door.

"I don't care." She said crossing her arms over her chest. I shrugged and lead her down the hall to my room.

**BACK TO TRIS**

I followed Edgar into his room. His room wasn't like Tobias's, it felt like there was tension in the air.

After I walked into the room Edgar closed the door. I heard it lock and turned to face him.

"We may be home alone but up don't want anyone to come home and see us." He said walking closer to me, resting his hands on my waist and his forehead against mine.

"Edgar get off of me." I said pushing him off. He hit the door.

"What? Don't want a little fun?" I heard a familiar voice say. I turned around and saw Peter walking out of the bathroom, Drew and _Al_ behind him.

My breathing began to get heavier and my heart began to race faster. "No."

"Well now that you don't have your little Four what are ya gonna do?" Peter asked.

I didn't know what else to do but scream. I went to open my mouth but Edgar covered it.

"No shhh tell no one." He said chuckling.

I stared at Peter as he walked closer to me. He began to take my jacket off of me. I was too young to loose my virginity. Wait I'm only 16 some people loose it younger, but I didn't want to loose it to 4 perverts.

I bit Edgars hand and he pulled away screaming and holding his hand. All stepped up and pushed me against the wall.

"HELP!" I screamed as loud as I could. Al covered my mouth with his hand but he was gripping my jaw on both sides.

"Shut up Prior. Do you want us to get in trouble?" Drew asked. I nodded.

I looked at Al in the eyes before lifting my arm and punching him right between his eyes. He stumbled back. I heard the doorknob move.

Peter held me back but I elbowed him in the face and he fell backwards. The door opened and Edgar tried to attack the guy who was standing there.

He had Blonde hair and blue eyes, he was quite cute actually. He stared at me but he got past Edgar and Drew and came to me.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He asked, his hands on my shoulders and his eyes staring into mine.

I nodded. "T-they I don't know." I shivered. He pulled out his phone and dialed 911.

He lead me out of the room grabbing my jacket off the floor behind him. He heard him talking into the phone but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I just looked at the floor in front of me.

"The police are coming." He told me when we were outside. "By the way my name's Will." He smiled.

"Tris." I said looking at my shoes. He put my jacket around my shoulders and stood next to me with his arm around me in a protective way.

When the police arrived they asked me a few questions that I answered honestly and they went inside to check the guys out. Edgar's mom came home and was upset about all of it and blamed me for it by the way I was dressed.

I called Caleb, Christina, and Uriah before Will have me a ride home.

"You go to Divergent High right?" He asked not taking his eyes off the road.

"Yeah." I said quietly.

"I'm in your biology class." He said. I looked up at him.

"You are?" I asked.

"I'm that other kid no one notices." He said laughing.

I laughed a little. "Wait other?"

"Well no one notices the emo chick in the corner listening to music and drawing in her notebook." Will said.

"Emo?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Its fine to be emo." He said looking at me.

"Oh turn left." I said pointing to my street. "First before last house on the right." I told him. He pulled in front of my house. "Thank you so much." I told him opening the door and walking out.

"Your welcome. See you at school tomorrow." He said smiling. I closed the door and jogged up to my front porch, opening the door.

Caleb was sitting on the stairs in his pajama pants. "Hey." He said, his eyes were red and puffy, like he'd been crying.

I sat down next to him, he wrapped his arm around me. "I'm lucky you're okay." I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"I hate this world." I said. Looking at the wall.

"Its a cruel world." Caleb said. "Now get to bed."

I stood up and began to walk up the stairs to my room. "Love you."


	17. Chapter 17

**Super short chapter because I'm running out of ideas :( this is kinda a filler BUTTTTT LISTEN! If you have ideas or just want to talk you can PM me or you can kik me my kik is ummmm slenderbitch420. Talk to you all soon hopefully :) ~savingpoppunk**

I guess what happened last night spread around the school pretty fast. People were whispering and looking at me up and down as I walked by.

"Tris" I turned around and saw Tobias walking towards me.

I broke the space between us by putting my arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug. "I hate myself." I cried into his shoulder.

"It's okay." He said stroking my hair.

"I wish I never did what I did." I looked at him tears staining my cheeks.

"It's my fault." He told me wiping my cheeks.

"I wish I never dumped you." I said, tears running down my cheeks again.

"You were right though." He said with sadness in his voice.


	18. Chapter 18

The bell rang, I slammed my locker shut. I turned to my brother at my side and faked smiled.

"I know today was bad but people need to realize that they deserved what they got." Caleb said. We walked out the front doors of the school, out towards our car. I walked a little ahead Caleb and froze. Will had Christina propped on top of her car hood and kissing her fiercely. "What the fuck?" Caleb said from beside me.

"Okay... then... that's awkward..." I said. Uriah came up beside me.

"Hey Tr- what the hell?! Who is that guy?!" Uriah yelled.

"Will." I answered.

"Can I see your book?" He asked not taking his eyes off of them.

I handed it to him not speaking. He stepped back a little and threw the book at Christina. Caleb busted into laughter, holding his sides. Christina took her lips off Will's and looked our way.

Uriah and I smiled and waved. "Stopped trying to swallow him!" I yelled. She glared at me, making Caleb fall to the ground laughing harder than before.

"No more rides for either of you!" She yelled, picking the book off the ground and throwing it back at us.

"Yeah! You need room for your new boyfriend!" Uriah yelled back at her. Christina glared at him harder and caused Uriah and I to burst into fits of laughter. After we calmed down I went to get my book but another hand also went to pick it up. I looked up at the face. Tobias.

"Hey." He smiled. "What was so funny?" I took my book from his hands.

"Christina sucking up her boyfriend." I chuckled. Uriah began to laugh again. I glanced at him.

"Go suck up your ex!" Christina yelled from across the parking lot. I looked at Christina and flashed her the finger. "You too!" She yelled back, laughing.

"I'll be in the car." Caleb said still laughing. I nodded and looked over at Uriah, eyebrows raised. He nodded and walked towards Christina and Will.

"I miss you Tris." Tobias said. I looked up him.

"Tobias I don't want to talk about this right now." I told him, hugging my books to my chest and looking at the ground.

"Sorry." He said. I shook my head. "What?"

"I miss you too." My eyes became blind by tears. Tobias pulled me into his chest. "I fucked up this time."

"No you didn't." He said into my hair.

"I liked you being overprotective, last night wouldn't have happened if I just stayed with you." I sobbed into his shirt.

"Tris, I love you." He said.

"I love you too." Tobias held me but I tilted my head and he placed his lips on mine.

**Hey guys how'd ya like the chapter... well it's the last chapter yep that's right the end of the story BUT WAIT there's a sequal! It's called More Years Of This. I want to thank MadelineHatterReaperandMage. For helping me write this chapter and the rest of this story when I had writers block. Also Veronica Roth I love her 3 and all the bands 3 AND OF COURSE YOU GUYS SO REMEMBER... More Years Of This.**


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